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luding out

can’t believe i’m blogging, lol. its been so long since i blog, apparently i couldn’t think of anything else to blog since i got here and most of my blogs are about my rants and shits, if i can remember in my first account in tumblr i blog there alot, almost everything that happens to me then i shut it off cuz i wasn’t able to tell everything i could probably because of my followers knows me in person, i was afraid i might offend them and until now,i still have some follwers that knows me, but i guess i can’t take that away.

i know, i reblog alot about random shits, foos especially dave, LOL. its just that i couldn’t really write what i want to say, even at this moment so basically this is just some random blog i’m doing so i can cover up my “reblogs” hahaha, i feel sorry about my followers, i mean i know how it feels when you go to tumblr and you keep on scrolling down to find something interesting but it takes a few mins to get there because your friends or whatever you call em’ reblogs a lot of random shit, its annoying, i know and somehow i turned into that kind of blogger and i apologize about that, but hey its my blog right? so i don’t really give a fuck.

so right now i want to share about people, in my life, i met or whatever. sometimes they became precious to you but some fucking twisted things happens that most of them goes away and sometimes they changed, you won’t be able to change that i mean its part of growing. i learned a lesson that you should stop caring for those who careless about you, because i used to care alot and most of the time i’m the one who’s apologizing whatever reason its is or even if i didn’t do anything wrong. it just feels like i have to so they won’t go away, i don’t give a fuck about pride, my dad thought me when i was little that pride won’t get you anything and anywhere. cuz God didn’t let his pride to go off the walls when everyone was cursing at him, like we humans do (my dad is a very religious person) so its stuck in my mind as i grow up. but i know there’s a time that we’ll reach our limits and i guess i reached mine, so i stop. i stop fixing things, i stop caring and just go and enjoy my life cuz you have to agree with me that there was this fucking point when you reach it right? you’ll get tired to chase everyone, trying to fix it and even try your fucking best just to fucking please them but at the end of the day its fucking useless. and i did, i let those people go, who couldn’t appreciate me, who can’t stay with me and just be contended for those who stays with you and you know what? it feels so fucking good, it wasn’t that complicated as it used to be but then weird things happens right? hahaha you just have to suck it let it sink and let it go, that’s life.

so i guess my conclusion here is that when you already have pearls or gold in your hand stop looking for more, you know and just be thankful cuz you found one. be happy and have some fucking satisfaction in your life dude, seriously.


actually the truth is, i want you, so bad that it kills me, but i can’t have you, i just can’t and in this part of me saying that its a lie but honey we all know that answer is. I’m wishing that we we’re born in a different world and there i’ll stay by your side, eternity, because i find “home” in you.

grey clouds.

i still can’t believe that you were able to push me away, just like that, it hurts but i’m still coping, thinking of when to let go.

old mates.

so my old classmates (elementary times/philippines) we’re able to contact me and i don’t how, one of them talked to my bro and obviously he told me about it, so they start adding me in my fb account and asking to come to “our” reunion, and i’m not really sure about going, i mean sure that’s sweet and nice of them to try and contact me after a very long time, but i’m not really capable of copping with the “awkward feeling” and i never really like the feeling of being out place there. so i’m still thinking of it. :)

and if this a “get-to-know-oldmates/make-new-friends” well i’m hella out of there, since i’m not really good in making friends anymore, i’m just not good at it and i hate the fact of making new ones. am i mean?

this is just so round up, going circles. no ending, no rest. just tired.