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can’t believe i’m blogging, lol. its been so long since i blog, apparently i couldn’t think of anything else to blog since i got here and most of my blogs are about my rants and shits, if i can remember in my first account in tumblr i blog there alot, almost everything that happens to me then i shut it off cuz i wasn’t able to tell everything i could probably because of my followers knows me in person, i was afraid i might offend them and until now,i still have some follwers that knows me, but i guess i can’t take that away.

i know, i reblog alot about random shits, foos especially dave, LOL. its just that i couldn’t really write what i want to say, even at this moment so basically this is just some random blog i’m doing so i can cover up my “reblogs” hahaha, i feel sorry about my followers, i mean i know how it feels when you go to tumblr and you keep on scrolling down to find something interesting but it takes a few mins to get there because your friends or whatever you call em’ reblogs a lot of random shit, its annoying, i know and somehow i turned into that kind of blogger and i apologize about that, but hey its my blog right? so i don’t really give a fuck.

so right now i want to share about people, in my life, i met or whatever. sometimes they became precious to you but some fucking twisted things happens that most of them goes away and sometimes they changed, you won’t be able to change that i mean its part of growing. i learned a lesson that you should stop caring for those who careless about you, because i used to care alot and most of the time i’m the one who’s apologizing whatever reason its is or even if i didn’t do anything wrong. it just feels like i have to so they won’t go away, i don’t give a fuck about pride, my dad thought me when i was little that pride won’t get you anything and anywhere. cuz God didn’t let his pride to go off the walls when everyone was cursing at him, like we humans do (my dad is a very religious person) so its stuck in my mind as i grow up. but i know there’s a time that we’ll reach our limits and i guess i reached mine, so i stop. i stop fixing things, i stop caring and just go and enjoy my life cuz you have to agree with me that there was this fucking point when you reach it right? you’ll get tired to chase everyone, trying to fix it and even try your fucking best just to fucking please them but at the end of the day its fucking useless. and i did, i let those people go, who couldn’t appreciate me, who can’t stay with me and just be contended for those who stays with you and you know what? it feels so fucking good, it wasn’t that complicated as it used to be but then weird things happens right? hahaha you just have to suck it let it sink and let it go, that’s life.

so i guess my conclusion here is that when you already have pearls or gold in your hand stop looking for more, you know and just be thankful cuz you found one. be happy and have some fucking satisfaction in your life dude, seriously.

sound city.

sound city.

me and my best friend txting
bff: i'm bored
me: me too
bff: i'm watching glee.
me: dave doesn't like glee
bff: yeah i know.
me: yeah, i'm watching dave.
bff: sigh..
too much thinking

I was dreaming about her, after I read her book, I imagine myself being in her position. Lots of “what if” came into my mind like and sometimes coming to sum up if I ever became like her, it sure feels good. I want to be like her, not entirely but some part of her, being independent at the young age, the pain she overcome and how she shrugged her feelings deep down, way deep down inside of her, so nobody can hurt her anymore. She was cool, i want to meet her, i want to greet her and tell her “you’re wonderful, I admire you.” But I know in reality I was too far headed. But after all of these wants from her, I do have some similarities with that I can tell by myself, her obsessive way of thinking for music, how she compared herself to everyone, how she made some of her mistakes from bad to worst and how she talks to herself, especially how she adores her family. She’s cool, way cool and her book is one of my favorite, great inspiration.

Then after her, you came along. you we’re making fun of me, I got pissed and lay down in the bed, then you came right over beside me, kiss me in the cheeks to my lips and just hugged me. Right there everything was perfect until I woke up with great sorrow knowing that everything was just a dream, especially your kiss, how it feels so real, but everything was just an illusion. I tried my best to sleep again, catching you, wishing i can back in that dream again but no, too late, i was back here in reality again. And I just swallow the whole pill again.

breakfast?

hindi ata uso sa akin yun eh :)) and if ever man uso yun sa akin, waley naman sa bahay :)) since, i always eat outside for breakfast? lunch and so on. i really love having breakfast especially in the house with the people you love to be with, problem here is that, we don’t do that now, since its just me and my brother here in the house, so basically “we’re on our own”. and yes i know its bad. share? 

normality.

i don’t really care anymore and sometimes it frightens me that i don’t feel that much pain no more, i used to think about it alot before and get the feeling of ten thousand syringe injecting all over my body, but now? i don’t get that much. i guess its that fact that.. made me feel to be casual about it, shockingly i find it normal now, so i’m sorry? idk.

just woke up, and i’m weirdly smiling because i finally had a afternoon nap! and no i shall suffer for more long quizzes to go! :))

just woke up, and i’m weirdly smiling because i finally had a afternoon nap! and no i shall suffer for more long quizzes to go! :))

i miss this city, i remember those moments when i once walked on these streets at night, laughs with friends and stared at the sky when i’m driving around this damn city with my parents, watching every cars pass me by, the times when i’m eyes are getting a lil bit sore because of the city lights. even the crowds and the corners. i miss everything and i’m so fucking homesick at this moment. take me back kuwait.

i miss this city, i remember those moments when i once walked on these streets at night, laughs with friends and stared at the sky when i’m driving around this damn city with my parents, watching every cars pass me by, the times when i’m eyes are getting a lil bit sore because of the city lights. even the crowds and the corners. i miss everything and i’m so fucking homesick at this moment. take me back kuwait.

it sucks.

did you ever get the feeling of being so shitty? hopeless? but at the same time you still want to be in that situation no matter what. no matter how suck it is? 

its funny, how people look so miserable but even if they are, they can still find happiness in it. sometimes we tried our best to get out in our position but when we’re out, we crave to go back. why? its simple, happiness is very hard to attain, when you tried to think about it, it seems so easy to have it, but when you’re on the road of looking for it, you’ll encounter lots of obstacle that’s so damn hard to get through and then you’ll see yourself, in that odd position. happy and satisfied. weird huh?

my sched changed, its still good, very good actually, cuz i can finally say “T.G.I.F.” hahaaha, finally i have saturdays. thaank Goodness. XD

my sched changed, its still good, very good actually, cuz i can finally say “T.G.I.F.” hahaaha, finally i have saturdays. thaank Goodness. XD

funny.

i was young, and still young, foolishness is very familiar to me.